April Movie Preview

April 1st


M: I can’t even begin to express how little interest I have for this.  It might be because of the over-marketing.  It might be because of James Marsden.  It might be because it just looks terrible.

E: Agreed.  Ack.

C: But–Penny from The Big Bang Theory is in it! Okay, so she co-stars with annoying-looking animated chickens and rabbits, but I’m happy to see her getting movie work. It does look pretty atrocious… but you have to admire the sheer financial craftiness of the studio, who obviously saw an opportunity to fill an empty niche: the Easter kids’ movie. Decent or awful, this will no doubt be shown on TV every year from next on.

Source Code

M: Now here’s a movie I’m interested in.  I like the concept and the look of it, Jake Gyllenhaal and Vera Farmiga, so I’m excited to see how this one turns out. Plus, Conan O’Brien said it was “taut,”and you know you can trust everything a late night interviewer says when interviewing the star of the movie, right?  Seriously, though, I saw Gyllenhaal on Conan the other night, and he was very engaging, and really funny.  It was no Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters on Carson in the early 90’s, but it was one of the better late night interviews I’ve seen.

C: Every time I see the commercials I go “Who IS that girl? She looks so familiar!” I finally IMDb’d her and I guess it’s because she was the main girl in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

E: I think she played Shia LeBoeuf’s mother in something last year, which we were kind of outraged by.  Also, she was in Mission Impossible 3.  That aside, I agree with M again: this looks really twisty and fun.   It’s the action version of Ground Hog Day!

C: “Ground Hog”? Really? Two words, E?


E: I have to mention this one because Nathan Fillion is in it.  He may look like a complete loon, but I won’t hold it against him.

C: And it stars Rainn Wilson as a regular-guy-turned-superhero! Maybe it could be a decent rental?

In A Better World

E: Danish film which won the Best Foreign Film Oscar.  Not too bad a recommendation.  Just saying.

April 8th

Your Highness

E: Medieval pot jokes.  Might be a good rental?  If it’s any good?  I don’t know if I can watch Danny McBride romance Natalie Portman, though.  It’s a pretty disturbing thought.  On the other hand, can it be worse than her with Ashton Kutcher?  Of course you couldn’t pay me to see that one.

C: Hey, Jack Black romancing Kate Winslet sounded impossible to believe, but that oddly enough turned out charming. The trailer made me chuckle a couple times. I have hopes it may be mildly entertaining.

M: I have to say, just watching the commercials for this is painful, and also baffling.  I mean, you have Oscar winner and huge star Natalie Portman, Oscar nominee and pretty good sized star James Franco, and yet the main character is played by some schulb named Danny McBride?  Huh?

C: Good point. Who IS that guy?


E: Super creepy looking promo, good cast (Saorise Ronan, Cate Blanchette, Eric Bana), but this tale of a little girl killing machine might just be too disturbing for me.

M: It looks like this year’s version of Salt to me, could be really good, but just not connecting with me yet.  I’ll wait to see what people think of it.


E: I like this idea, but I’m not sure – based on the commercials – whether I’m going to like the execution.  Brand gets off some funny lines (“This is black!”), and Helen Mirren’s a genius substitute for Sir John Gielgud, but still.

M: Unlike Hanna, I’m not waiting to hear what people think on this one.  I’m judging this book by it’s cover, and passing.  I’m surprised you’re even considering.

C: I’m with M. Are you kidding, E? It looks HORRID.

E: Yeah, probably.

Soul Surfer

E: True story of Bethany, the surfer who got her arm bitten off by a shark and lived to surf again.  It also marks Carrie Underwood’s dramatic debut.

M: So, it’s this year’s 127 Hours?

E: We would be incredibly lucky if that were true, because that’s a fantastic film.  I don’t really expect this to be nearly as moving.

April 13th

Scream 4

M: Wait, there was a Scream 3?

The Rebound

E: When was the last time Catherine Zeta-Jones made a movie?  Good to see you back, lady! But as a single mom with a much younger love interest?  That trend?  Really?

M: It’s bad, but this feels like foreshadowing of what’s going to happen when her 90-year-old husband kicks the bucket.  Wait, though, is she married to Kirk or Michael Douglas?  And is there much difference?  Okay, so I know that this may not be in the best taste, but Michael beat cancer, so the old jokes are fair game again now, right?

C: That was a bit low, bro.

E: Ew.


E: Animated animals.

M: I’m not sure, but I think I saw a preview for this when I went to see Up in the theater.  At least, it feels like I’ve been seeing previews for it for that long.  Despite that, I’m not sure I have a clue what it’s even about.

C: Like Madagascar with birds? I dunno.

April 20th

Water for Elephants

E: Will this be lush and gorgeous, or a little bit off (what with Reese Witherspoon’s super-platinum hair)?  Will the popular book shine through, or will casting a vampire “vegetatarian” as a veteran ?????

M: This is another one where the “lead” seems outclassed.  When I see “Starring Robert Pattinson, Oscar Winner Reese Witherspoon and Oscar Winner Christoph Waltz,” well, the Sesame Street song “One of these things is not like the others” starts playing in my head.

C: That guy seems to think he’s going to have a Serious Dramatic Career. All I can say is, if he carries it off, it’ll be one of those nutty transformation stories, like Ronald Reagan.

April 29th

Fast Five

E: Yawn.

M: Surprisingly, I’m hearing this is the best of the series.  Of course, I’ve seen none of the previous four…


E: You’d think this would be a horror movie, but no.  It’s an Altman-esque compilation of intertwining stories of kids going to Prom.  Could be adorable, could be God-awful.

M: Can I interject a question here?  When, exactly, did pretty much the entire society decide to drop the word “the” when referring to proms?  Until some time recently it was always “the prom,” as in “She’s going to the prom with him.”  Now it’s just “Prom,” like there should be a capital “P.”  I don’t get not only when this happened, but why?  Are we really that lazy that we can’t say “the prom”?  I mean, it’s already an abbreviation!

C: Not to quench the rage, but I think it’s regional. Readers can tell me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure we say “the prom” in the Northeast but Midwesterners and West Coasters say “prom.”

E: That’s how they talked about it in Pretty in Pink, so it’s not a particularly new usage.


E: This looks kind of cute.  I love snarky fairytale adaptations.  Might be age-appropriate for some of my kids, and the girl power thing is fun.

M: Shocking, that you think that…  😉

C: I’m turned off by the animation. The people look like freaky dolls.

E: Well, yes, there is the kewpie doll thing. Potentially creepy.


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