E: There were first year med students in last night’s episode, and an almost gay wedding, and a kick butt Cristina, and a ton of negative pregnancy tests, and a whole host of other things, but none of that is really what you want to talk about, is it? No, me neither. Do I care that we got to see the bottom half of somebody’s bum? Nope. Holy end of the episode shocker, Batman!
So, okay, there is actually a lot to say about the rest of the stuff that happened this week. Bailey swans around the episode giggling because Nurse Eli is leaving dirty notes in her charts. She claims she’s not dating him, because it would be inappropriate, but she’s just too full of lust to go cold turkey. It’s kind of adorable and awful (as in, awfully snobby of Bailey) at the same time. Chief Webber tells the residents that “the race for chief resident is on” and then assigns them each a first year med student to educate and enchant. Cristina’s student turns out to be the first of the swoonworthy guest starts – Warren from Buffy! Woohoo! That was cool, even though his hair was tragic. He’s an aspiring md/pdh just like Cristina, but she doesn’t bond with him until it’s too late to get a good recommendation.
Poor Meredith is not pregnant (no baby wants to set up house in the hostile uterus), but she kept taking a bucket full of tests anyway. Meredith, seriously, just wait a few days if you want to make sure the test was right. You’re not going to get different results if the whole problem is you’re testing too early. Of course, that’s not the problem. She’s not pregnant this month. That’s the problem. It’s not easy to take, however. Her med student seems more interested in McDreamy and in texting her own boyfriend, but claimed that was just a way to appeal to personal life involved Meredith. Sorry, Kira, not buying it. I thought Mer was – and generally is – a good and patient teacher.
Callie (who begun the day crying in front of the bathroom mirror, leading me to think she missed Arizona more than she was saying) is not forgiving Arizona, who spent the entire episode trying to figure out what personal failings she should confess to to get Callie to give her another chance. (Mark points out that it’s her inability to stick when times get tough – which, wasn’t that the whole speech she gave to Callie’s Dad? Something about a strong ship in a storm? Weirdly inconsistent, that.) Callie was quite clear that she wasn’t being coy, she just wanted to be left alone, but that’s kind of hard for us and for Arizona to believe.
Avery and Karev fought over the hot girl med student. Karev, of course, ended up with her (in more ways than one) and so went out of his way to teach her so as to make his way into her pants. April was of course appalled by this, and never more so then when we (in a funny homage to Animal House) get to see the med student’s butt cheek as she reaches for a water glass, post de-pantsing. Poor Avery. How can they have a doc that hot on the show and never let his crushes work out? You better be planning something really awesome for him, Shonda Rimes, and I would appreciate that coming sooner rather than later. But it was Avery’s big bear of a student who provided the insight that saved a patient’s life when no one else was looking at the monitors.
Oh, yes, the patients. Well, first there was Scott Foley of Felicity – known here as Henry – who got the life saving surgery that Teddy married him to secure. In case you’d forgotten – I had – he has a condition which makes him grow tumors at an accelerated rate. I believe he said he’s had twelve. We found out that he’s 42, his parents are dead, he has a sister in Prague who’s not particularly stable, and he has no friends because their spouses get sick of his sickness drama and because he has to switch jobs often and is out so much that no one takes the time to get to know him. Sigh. Not buying it, but okay. All this is to explain why he had Teddy listed as his emergency contact, and why Webber is forced to ask her if it’s okay to remove Henry’s kidney and also a nice chunk of his pancreas, which will probably result in him becoming diabetic. Nice. All of this is to entangle Teddy more and more into his life so that she’ll fall in love with him before he dies, making us all weep copiously (though not as much as we did for Denny Duquette). Of course, Scott Foley is very very pretty so I won’t complain too much. Oh, and did I mention that Cristina did most of the surgery (so the Chief could see that she was really back on her game – halleluiah!) and when she invited Warren over to check out the tumor, he fainted? Even the Chief thought that was awesome.
Arizona has a patient who was born without cheekbones. I’m curious what condition the actress has, because her features were pushed around in an unusual way. Was it the same thing? She wants cheekbones so she can play sports and not just stay at home and write and paint like her parents would prefer. Fair enough. There’s a debate between the staff; essentially everyone but Arizona thinks that a more experimental treatment (using cadaver bones instead of grafts from her own skull) will result in fewer side effects, less recovery time and better adhesion. All of which adds up to the opportunity to play aggressive sports and do it sooner. Mark manages to pitch the surgery as part of the whole “listen and see what your faults are” win back Callie plot, so he wins. This leads to some of the grossest surgical footage we’ve ever seen on the show; I seriously couldn’t watch them rooting through her face like that.
Finally, a guy was brought in having been trampled by horses. Youch. He’s got a broken back and unknown internal injuries (he’s the one saved by the student while everyone else was moving him from one gurney to another) so involved ortho, neuro and internal surgeries. Yuck city. And he’s also in love with Rickie from My So Called Life! I nearly swooned. It’s dorky, I know, but I love that show, and I get inordinately thrilled when I see the actors. That’s two weeks in a row for Grey’s. Thanks, guys!
Anyway, Rickie’s getting married, and because he’s been forced into a second hand citizenship by the state, he wants to throw a big dramatic “domestic partnership paper signing, so it feels more like a wedding than just a trip to the dmv. I’m with you there, buddy, and so is patient Callie (to whom all this is explained). Unfortunately – and it sounds like disaster often follows Rickie’s marvelous plans – the kilts and the horse drawn carriage Rickie hired might have worked out okay, but he also brought in bagpipers for his Scottish love, and the bagpipes spooked the horses, who trampled the other groom. Ouch. Not good. All is well, however, because Callie and Owen and Derek and even clumsy Edward the med student patch the other groom up. And somehow, Rickie inspires Callie to tell the truth.
And what a truth it is! Arizona tracks Callie down in the elevator (of course) to plead with her for another chance. You want to be with me, Callie says? Well, how’re you going to feel when you know that I’m pregnant with Mark’s baby? Do you still want back into our relationship? How do you like them apples?
Which, woah! Okay, I’m sorry, because that’s the soapiest, most melodramatic set up in the entire world, but I totally love it. I mean, good lord in heaven, the levels of complications! There are Mark and Callie, who both pretty desperately want children. There’s Lexie, who probably wants kids someday but not now, thank you very much, and Arizona, who never wanted kids but was willing to think of them in the future if it meant having Callie in her life. Well, the future is now, baby! Unbelievable! I can see them all sort of mashing up in a weirdly happy non-traditional family, maybe, but I think there will be massive freak outs involved. You can really see how the whole season’s worth of plots, and the timing of Lexie and Mark’s reunion, has resolved to make all this not only possible but a perfect storm of storytelling. I really appreciate the way it’s all come together, and particularly that it happened without me in any way anticipating it. It’s fun to call something early (like the shooter last season) but it’s much more fun to be totally and utterly shocked by something that seems inevitable as soon as it happens.
What do you guys think? Callie’s going to have the baby, right? Will Mark fight her for custody? He won’t, will he? Will Lexie bail? Will Arizona? I am suddenly so excited for the rest of this season.