Quick Takes: Haven, The Glades and Rizzoli & Isles

E: Just like it says – here are some quick thoughts on the summer shows that have aired in the last few days.

Haven “Consumed” :  Ugh.

So,  I liked the idea of mystery of the week; sane people go nuts, and crazy people become sane due to some sort of mysterious agent. Is it an experimental medication?  A super-powered person?  Or something even simpler?  I liked the Hulk Smash look on the doctor who run the mental home, and I was grateful for the return of Duke Crocket, which should show you how bland I find the rest of the cast.  Well, not that you would know this, but I’ve never been a fan of Eric Balfour’s.  And some of the snarking was fun.  Did you notice the graffiti on the insane asylum sign – “Come for the food/Stay for the drugs”?  That’s awesome. Call me sick, but I enjoyed seeing a nuttified Nathan testing his inability to feel pain by setting his arm on fire.  And I’m intrigued by Duke asking Nathan if Audrey knows he’s not a real boy (seriously, what does that mean?  Is he supposed to be an android?)  and whether she knows about the things he’s done.  Ooooh, Nathan has a secret past!  I just wish Nathan seemed dark and broody enough to justify this.  He’s merely kind of glum.

But the way the larger mystery is being dragged out because Audrey isn’t bothering to look into it?  That’s the real flaw to this series.  That makes me want to practice a little Hulk Smashing on the writing staff.  You can’t convince me this show wouldn’t have been better as a long miniseries.  Trying to spin mythology out when there’s actually something they can do to solve it?  Soooo boring.  It makes me just want to pelt someone with rotten tomatoes and advice.  Go to the freaking library!  Visit the newspaper archives!  It’s called microfilm!  Use it!   I need to start reading on Friday nights, or catching up on the last two seasons of Lost, or anything else more rewarding than this.

The Glades, “A Perfect Storm”: Now I’m back to thinking that the show is almost clever; on the other hand, it’s surely a show that benefits from the lack of time slot competition.  The idea of chasing a spree killer (as opposed to the more popular tv trope of the serial killer) through a hurricane is pretty nice.  Setting it at a high school reunion, on the other hand, is not remotely original.  I’m not entirely sold on Jim recognizing the perpetrator, or why he’d have been hanging around the crime scene rather than out pursuing the folks who done him wrong (HR person who fired him, loan officer who refused him a loan, the insurance coordinator for the hospital who refused to treat his son’s terrible illness, the guy who turned out to be the real father of that son, etc…), but most of it made sense.  I still like Jim best when he’s talking to Callie, but he’s improving on me a tiny bit.  He’s annoying, but at least he’s got a smile on his face!  He seemed to charm a goodly number of people at the high school reunion.

And I loved the herpetologist helping the coroner steal the generator.  That was a pretty fun side plot.  Dissing on Jim and how he drove his former partner to behead his wife, in order to distract the FEMA organizer so herpet-boy could grab the keys?  Kinda fun.  (Of course the whole thing got me feeling a bit bad for the people at the other hospital who had been expecting the generators, and mad at everyone involved in there not being more emergency backups, but still.)  Also?  That super cute little old lady Carlos and Callie saved and flirted with.  What a sweetheart she was!  You could just eat her up with a spoon.  The show was a little hard on the hospital insurance lady, though, don’t you think?  I mean, she’s a pretty easy target, but it can’t be an easy job.  Can you do that job (making sure everyone who lands at your hospital has insurance that can pay for them) and not be a bad person?  They wrote a self-righteous character, of course, but that’s surely a time-consuming question for a freshman philosophy class.

Rizzoli & Isles, “Sympathy for the Devil”: Are you kidding me? Was that really Donnie Wahlburg’s last episode?  What the heck was that about, anyway?  Maybe the writers – or the network – aren’t sure what kind of show they want this to be.  All I can say is that I loved Rizzoli’s relationship with Lt. Grant, and was really getting into this show and them, and now I’m bummed.  The way that he told her she was perfect! And confessed, with a meaningful look, that he had liked her a lot, for a long time.  Aw.  I am such a sucker for crushes.  (So is Rizzoli, apparently, considering how quickly she let down her “he’s a political tool” guard – a little fast, but maybe the writers did that because they knew they were getting rid of Grant?  Grumble grumble grumble.)  I don’t get featuring someone that charismatic so heavily for only two episodes, I just don’t.  And yes.  Donnie Wahlburg is charismatic.   I did really enjoy the whole “be a girl” fighting with her mother, as well, but I need the creative staff here to bring back Joey Grant, stat.

The point of my rant – and you didn’t think I had one, did you? – is that this show can’t decide what to do about it’s men.  First we have the witless, charmless FBI agent, who was thankfully deep-sixed.  And now we have Grant, who came on strong and disappeared, poof, without a trace.  It’s just not rational!

I did enjoy the criminal detour in Boston’s Cape Verdian community, after a young teen is found mysteriously murdered.  Was it his mother’s exorcism performing pastor?  A gang he’d try to pull away from?  Or someone even more insidious? You’ll probably laugh when you read this, but I went to college with a bunch of Cape Verdians, and they are a ridiculously beautiful people.   The ones I knew were Catholic, and very smart, and really nice people, but also just jaw-droppingly beautiful.  Maybe that small sample was skewed (it’s actually hard to imagine the community at large could all be that gorgeous), but usually you think of actors as being prettified versions of real people, and that’s not the case at all here.  Just saying.

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