M: Quick admission…  I was an idiot this week.  I went to re-watch last week’s LCK On Demand before watching this week’s episode, but accidentally selected this week’s, which opened with the shot of Chris J, so I knew who was gone before ever even starting the episode.  I’m not sure my viewing experience would have been much, if any, different, but still, I don’t like to know the ending before I watch.

E: Oh, that bites.  I quite agree; I expected him to go next, but I would not have liked it confirmed.  Before we get too far in, however, we should start with the mise en place relay.  I really love that challenge.

M: Agreed, that’s always a winner.  I don’t mind them working in groups or pairs during something like this (and in general I don’t mind it on Quickfires), and this episode’s was no exception.  I have to say, I was amazed that Paul and Ed not only didn’t get their shrimp on their plate, but if I heard correctly as a rewound it, didn’t even cook it.

E: Yep, quite right.  Shocking, huh?

M: I’ll say.  In fact, I’d say that’s got to be the biggest miss I’ve seen in the history of quickfires.  On a positive note, I loved that Chris and Grayson beat the supremely overconfident bully twins, I didn’t want to see the two of them rewarded with either credit… or cash.  Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

E: M, I’m sure you were with Chris when he said he was sick of team challenges feeding huge groups of people.  The Entertainment Weekley recapper had a great bon mot about this – the season is starting to feel like Top Caterer rather than Top Chef.

M: It’s funny, when they were performing the challenge that’s exactly the word I though of…  caterer.  Now, to be fair, there have been tons of catering-type challenges in Top Chef history, and tons of challenges where they have to cook for 200 people, or some ridiculous number like that.  The problems I had with this week’s were three-fold.  First, they give them the parameters that it’s a block party.  Now, I don’t know about what’s served at block parties in Tom or Padma’s circles, but none of the block parties I’ve ever been to have had haute cuisine.

E: Nope, and there it is. They want “elevated” food, but they don’t give them challenges where they can produce it.

M: Second, they’re in freaking Texas in the summer, don’t make them cook outside in the sun, the food’s going to suffer, and that’s not an indictment on their ability to cook.  Third, seriously, you give them 30 seconds to menu plan and 2 and 1/2 hours to prep?  Why do that, unless you want the food to suck?

E: Yeah.  There’s a fine line between challenging the chefs, and dooming them, and this fell on the wrong side of the line.

M: As have more than a few challenges this season, unfortunately.

E: No argument here.  And oh, the perils of chicken salad.  You knew the second Grayson and Chris picked it that one of them would be going home, didn’t you?

M: It was a pretty safe bet, yeah.  I couldn’t imagine a winning dish coming out of something that’s only positive reference in pop culture is when people say that someone turned chicken s##t into it.  As I said, I hated the parameters of the challenge, but seriously, why would you choose that?

E: I have no idea. Now, I don’t like chicken salad…

M: I don’t like it either, due to my dislike of mayo.  Though, I will say, replacing it with a “tofu emulsion” is not likely to get me in line to try it.

E: Snort. And I do like meatballs…

M: Mmmmmm, meatballs.

M: Given the parameters, I don’t think serving people a meatball was odd.  However, I don’t think it was a significant step up from chicken salad, either.

E: While it’s not that exciting, I thought Tom was being a little nasty to Grayson.  “Did you really think you could win with a chicken salad sandwich?”  “Obviously not,” she realizes.  Really unnecessary, Tom. I felt like they were pissed that she ended up in the top, and spared no chance to make her feel it.  Uncool.  (One of the bloggers on bravotv.com thinks that Grayson changed Tom’s mind on the topic, but I don’t agree at all.)

M: Hmmm, it didn’t seem to me like they were pissed she ended up in the top, just that she chose chicken salad.  I loved, however, that Grayson stood up to him on it, especially compared to the meatball.  One of our fellow WordPress bloggers, The Food and Wine Hedonist, thought that Tom’s lack of reply about  the meatball meant that he didn’t disagree.  I didn’t see it that way, he seemed to me to think the meatball was fine.  Which it would have been as an accompaniment, or as part of a sub (though not as a burger, as Fabio found out on All-Stars).

E: Right, exactly – you don’t just have a meatball on it’s own.  The whole thing reminds me of Zoe in Chicago with their other block party, going home for pasta salad.  It’s an essential part of that sort of meal, she felt. Ah, Top Chef.

M: Exactly.  If you’re going to give them a crappy challenge with crappy parameters, expect a crappy menu.

E: Now can we please get over the picnic food?  More wicked queen challenges, please!

M: Seriously!  We want to see these people at their best, not see who can make the best of really lousy situations.

E: I don’t entirely agree – I do want to see them being challenged.  Sometimes that leads to great food – remember breakfast on the beach in season two?  I just don’t want it to be every week.

M: No, I don’t, but only because I didn’t start watching until season three.  I take your point, though, and agree with it in principle.  Still, I will say that if any of us viewers ever go to eat their food, it won’t be something they conceptualized in a Toyota Sienna (or whatever product placement they had that season) then cooked in a parking lot on a Bunsen Burner.  Keep those kinds of things to the Quickfires.

E: Again, I think you’re overstating things, but I agree – if I ever get to Moto, it won’t be for chili or smoked brisket.

M: Look, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying there shouldn’t be twists and difficulties in the elimination challenges, there definitely should be.  However, they should be within the parameters of putting the contestants in a position to make a really good meal.  Limiting their time severely doesn’t do that.  Making them cook in 110 degree heat in the midst of a swarm of bees doesn’t either.

E: Oh, I did feel quite bad for Chris about that, although you’d think someone with a bee sting allergy would know that the LAST thing you want to do with bees is disturb them.  Not the way to get them to leave you alone, dude.

M:Those are the things they need to keep in check.  Things like having Heathly Choice sponsor it and make the meal they already chose healthier?  I’m good with that.  Back to the episode, though, Chris’ pre-made chicken s##t… er, salad sandwiches did him in, as expected.

E: Okay, I have no idea what you’re referencing.  More importantly, I will miss Chris.  He comes across as a really nice person, with really interesting ideas about food.  At least Chris is getting a nice fat paycheck out of it!  Not at fat as Paul’s 50k winnings, of course, but still, better than nothing.  I don’t know how you can deny Paul’s the one to beat anymore, M.  I’m not even sure who could beat him at this point.

M: Well, if you recall, when I said Paul wasn’t necessarily the favorite that was a couple weeks ago, and he’s had a big couple weeks.  So yes, I definitely agree that he’s the odds on favorite now.  However, as we’ve seen in the past (Richard Blais in season 4, Angelo in season 7), the person who leads for most of the season doesn’t always win, so I wouldn’t agree that no one could beat him.

E: Fair enough.  (Although to be enitrely fair, Stephanie had won as many challenges as Blais, so it’s not like he was the overwhelming favorite people make him out to be.)

M: I agree that she did well, but watching that season he was the clear favorite, and her win definitely felt like an upset no matter how many challenges she had won.

E: I just don’t get that.  He was confident, and she wasn’t, so maybe that lead to you perception, but the judges didn’t favor him.

M: Moving back to this season, Ed has been pretty good, Grayson has been sneaky, and the bully twins both have talent.  And don’t forget Bev, if she gets back in and the final challenge is short ribs…

E: I sure won’t.  Speaking of Bev, Padma asks us if Chris has met his Kobyashi Maru in Last Chance Kitchen.  Love!  Her best voice over ever!

M: Oh, see, I’m too much of a geek.  The Kobyashi Maru is an unwinable situation meant to test a candidate’s reactions.  Head to head against Bev was entirely winable, meant to give him a chance to get back into the competition.  Ok, Mr Literal signing off now.  Apologies.

E: What, for being too precise, or taking almost a week to watch the episode?

M: Um, yeah…  both.

E: By the way, I LOVED Chris on Last Chance Kitchen.  Tom explains they’re holding head to head competitions in the Last Chance Kitchen.  “For what?” Chris asks.  Hee!  He’s the only person that didn’t get what was going on – a chance to keep competing.  Dude just wants to go home to his wife!

M: Or the fact that he was the first one who just went to the kitchen of the contestants house, not the Top Chef Kitchen, and stared at a bottle of honey for 10 minutes?  That was fantastic.

E: Much as I liked Chris, I was happy to see Beverly win.  First off, I really want the person who comes out of Last Chance Kitchen to have won more than one round…

M: …which Chris would have, since there’s still one more LCK…

E: Okay, but no one has the same underdog feeling that Bev has.  I feel her need to prove herself, to prove her detractors wrong.  It’s a good story.

M: Can’t argue with you on that.

For the obvious, we have Christopher Plummer (supporting actor), George Clooney (lead actor) and Octavia Spencer (supporting actress).  It’s not outside the realm of possibility that someone might insert themselves between those actors and SAG’s Actor award, but it’s not very likely.  And that, of course, takes up most of the movie award time.

The biggest award, the one analogous with Oscar’s Best Picture, is SAG’s Best Ensemble award.  Often this award matches up with best picture, but it’s not a precise equivalent; it favors smaller movies with showy casts rather the occasional epic which depends more on the story than the actors telling it.  That explains the presence of Bridesmaids on their shortlist rather than, say War Horse.  This year’s fight is between the two Golden Globe Best Picture winners – the comedy, The Artist, and the drama, The Descendants.  Both film are lovely.  But as Mr. E likes to say, The Artist is something clever; you appreciate the recreation, the little tweaks of the genre, the references to great old movies,  the balls it took to pull the whole thing off.  You appreciate it, but you don’t swoon.  The Descendants, on the other hand, made me fall in love with its characters and its small moments, its humor and its reality.  The Artist has been pegged as the frontrunner for months; if there’s any shot it can be beat, it will happen here.  This is where The King’s Speech became inevitable last year, politely stepping over The Social Network‘s shocked and bloodied body.

Am I overstating that a bit?  Sorry.

Now, Best Ensemble definitely interests me, but I’m not tremendously hopeful that The Descendants can pull the upset.  Where I do get unreasonably hopeful, however, is Best Actress.

I like Viola Davis, don’t get me wrong. And I really liked The Help.  But what Meryl Streep does in The Iron Lady?  I can’t honestly imagine anyone watching both movies and failing to see the difference.  Truthfully, the only actress that comes close to what Streep achieves here is Michelle Williams, who plays the easily imitated but difficult not to caricature Marilyn Monroe.  How funny would it be if we were all so distracted by the Meryl/Viola showdown that Williams managed to sneak the win, like Adrian Brody did when everyone was expecting either Daniel Day Lewis or Jack Nicholson?. (NB – Day Lewis was in a Scorsese historical drama and Nicholson in a Payne tragicomedy.  Huh.)

Flights of fancy aside, I’ve seen these performances, and Meryl Streep deserves this win.  Davis (and Williams, for that matter) were wonderful; I enjoyed their performances and their movies.  But for nearly thirty years, the Academy has been unwilling to award Meryl that third Oscar.  Perhaps she’s just judged on a different level than everyone else.  Perhaps no one wants her to tie Katherine Hepburn’s record of 3 wins. Perhaps no one remembers she hasn’t won since before Rooney Mara was a twinkle in her mother’s eye.  I don’t know.  I can’t explain it.   And this year the disconnect is harder to explain than ever. Meryl Streep is just better than the rest of the field.  She just is.  Her Margaret Thatcher will leave you speechless; even for Meryl Streep, it’s an extraordinary achievement.

That said, Davis probably still wins.  I’ve come to realize that whenever the prognosticators tell you “it’s Meryl Streep v. X” you can always count on X to win.  And it’ll be nice to have that very popular movie, nicely made rewarded, it’ll be nice to have diversity among the winners, and it’ll be nice to see a terrific character actress rewarded.   But because of Streep’s Golden Globe win, I can’t help hoping a little.  More than her win, even, was the thunderous applause she received, and the standing ovation – a response not evoked by any other acting winner.  Could it be that people are finally realizing how crazy it is to keep nominating and then ignoring her?  The Red Sox fan in me can’t help but hope, even when I know there’s every reason against it.

If Davis wins, the Oscar will be almost inescapably hers.  If Meryl or Michelle wins, it’ll continue to be a debate.

Now, if as expected, Clooney wins, expect humor in his speech, with a lot of good-natured ribbing of director Payne and pal Brad Pitt.  Plummer will be modest and gracious and articulate (of course he will!  he’s a Canadian!).  Spencer will be emotional and sweet and possibly sassy.  Should she win, Williams will gracefully thank her daughter.  If she wins, Streep will blow you away with how funny and generous and smart she is, and she’ll talk about up and coming actors (who will probably weep copiously in the audience) and cinema’s ability to really affect people and be truthful.  Viola Davis, on the other hand, is an unknown quantity.  She did win the Broadcast Critics Best Actress this year, but if that event was televised, I missed it.

It’ll be really interesting to see how it turns out!  I’m curious, too, about the TV awards; since Homeland (which won big at the Golden Globes) isn’t nominated, there could be some flexibility among the winners.  Can Juliana Margulies take home another win?  You know that’s what I’ll be hoping for!

E: That was rather disappointing, wasn’t it?  I wanted to spend more time with neurotic pet owners.

M: I agree, there was very little in the way of dipping into the dog show subculture, not at least to the usual Castle level.

E: On the other hand, it did lead to what might have been the funniest line of the show – papparazzi swarming over Castle, then backing away in disappointment. “Hey, that’s not Jason Bateman!”

M: I can honestly say, I’ve never thought even once that Nathan Fillion and Jason Bateman looked alike.  I thought the poses he was doing that led to them taking his picture were funnier.

C: I’ve always thought that, actually. Or at least that they should play brothers sometime! But speaking of actors, the reality show star, Kay Cappuccio (pooch? get it?) is played by Hilarie Burton of One Tree Hill and, more recently and charmingly, White Collar. Though she’s doing an odd, higher voice here which I couldn’t get used to.

M: I thought she did a really good job with the change of voice, actually.  Because of it and the super-crappy “it girl”fashion, I wasn’t 100% sure it was her in the first couple scenes.

E: Blah blah blah cable shows I don’t watch blah blah.

M: You know that One Tree Hill isn’t a cable show, right?  And you *should* watch White Collar, no matter what network it’s on.

C: Speaking of irritating bickering, the episode makes a point of starting with Lanie snapping at Esposito to show they are still on the outs (boooo) so we can watch Esposito drool all over Kay throughout the rest of the episode.

M: That was kind of embarrassing, and a bit sad after the way they left Wonder Twin #1 and Lanie at Wonder Twin #2′s wedding.

C: Agreed. And I know this isn’t a new complaint on my part, but did we really need lingering close-ups of Cappuccio’s legs, her butt, and her boobs? I don’t know if I should blame the writers or the directors of Castle, but someone working on this show needs to stop projecting his fantasies on the rest of us.

E: Yeah, they really lay it on thicker than any other show I know.

M: I will invoke my role as the lone male here and tell you both to quit your over-sensitive, catty yapping.  ;)  Seriously, though, they were playing her as the sexpot reality star, they did those shots for effect, to make fun of show (and people) like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.  I would think that the two of you would have understood that.

E: Catty?  Excuse me?  You think they needed to show us her butt up close to establish her character?  Riiiiight.

C: This from the guy who gave me faith as an insecure teenage girl that at least some men weren’t shallow and disgusting, because he was always telling his wife she didn’t need to be sexy or “done up” to be beautiful. M, I think my heart just broke a little.

M: Wow, everyone’s inability to take a joke is out of hand today!  I threw in the winkey emoticon and followed it with a “Seriously” and everything!  Yikes.

E: I’m not entirely sure the writers made up for it by eventually showing us that Kay’s actually pretty nice and definitely not as vapid as she appears on TV- a bit noir, really, as the misunderstood bad girl.

C: One of the lighter bits is where Castle and Beckett interview the victim’s psychologist, Dr. Barker (barker? get it?) – who turns out to be Ms. Barker, a dog therapist.

E: More of that, please.

M: Played by Star Trek: DS9‘s Nana Visitor, no less.  Long time no see, Major Kira!

E: No way!  Wow, at least White Collar I don’t watch – I’m appalled at myself for not recognizing her.  That makes me wish even more that she’d had a bigger role.  I’m not at all sure why they had to layer in the reality show stuff, especially with such an obvious mystery.  M and I were chatting and realized that we both pegged Kay’s boyfriend Reggie as the killer from the start.

M: And when you combine the dog show subculture and the drug cartel, they had more than enough without it.  As for Reggie, it fit the Castle formula far too well.  I couldn’t say what his involvement was or why he would turn out to be the killer, but I knew it was going to end up being him almost immediately.  They need to start mixing it up again.

C: Who else found it impossible to believe that they would need to scramble to find a home for the canine companion of the world-famous dog whisperer? Yeah right! Even if he was “better with dogs than people,” I’m sure he would have left instructions on who was to get his pooch. And even if he didn’t, the dog certainly would go begging (get it?) — folks everywhere would have been clamoring for him!

E: Me. Particularly since Royal had mad drug sniffing skillz. You’d think the government would have wanted him; those dogs are super expensive to train.

M: Seriously, E, I can forgive you the use of “mad” as a positive adjective, but you’re a grown woman with four kids, never mind an english major, you should not be pluralizing words with a “z.”  Ever.

E: And as someone who made it through 2nd grade, you should know you need to capitalize English.  (Seriously, dude, it’s a silly phrase, mad skillz. I didn’t invent it.  If you’re going to be so persnickety, you better start backing it up!)

M: Really, you think I didn’t know that you did not invent the phrase “mad skillz”?  You not being the originator of it still doesn’t mean you should EVER use it.  Not only are you too old, intelligent and responsible, you are not nearly ghetto enough.

E: Wow, somebody needs to take it down a notch.

C: Um, yes. The quibbling is out of hand today. So! All that said, it was pretty adorable to see Beckett and Castle sparring for custody of the gorgeous golden retriever. Especially when Beckett (inevitably) let the dog up on the couch.

E: Very.  Very cute.

M: Speaking of very cute, when Castle held and rubbed Beckett’s hand to display how Royal liked to be scratched?  Very nice.

E: Definitely something we can agree on, M.

M: Back to “impossible to believe,” did anyone else have a problem with the premise that a South American drug cartel would have a dog trainer killed because he was doing such a good job training drug-sniffing dogs?  I mean, won’t Customs just get another trainer?  Aren’t there plenty of people who can train dogs effectively enough that risking themselves to kill some Caesar Milan-inspired trainer was an unnecessary risk?

E: I’m not an expert, but I don’t know if drug cartels really have a measured attitude towards taking life.

M: My incredulity didn’t have anything to do with their taking a life, I agree that they don’t have any particular qualms about that.  It’s about minimizing risk and maximizing gain.  There’s very little benefit for them to kill the guy that trains the drug sniffing dogs (setting aside how they would find out who it was), while there’s a high potential risk of law enforcement tying it to them causing them more problems than if they let him live.

E: Well, I still don’t know that I give them that much credit.  Of course, I’m ghetto enough to know that for sure. In totally unrelated news, don’t you think Alexis is looking particularly sophisticated these days?  It makes me slightly sad. I did like hearing about her new friend Buttons – though I think it’s peculiar she hadn’t noticed the hilarity of the name Buttons Dutton.  I hope she’s not losing her sense of humor!

M: I think she’s been looking very sophisticated since the beginning of the show, personally.  She just looks more grown up now, so instead of looking like a sophisticated teen she looks like a sophisticated young woman.  And yes, as a dad with a daughter getting close to her teenage years that transition scares the hell out of me.

C: Rallying after Sybil’s disappointing lack of response to Branson’s first declaration, this week saw a satisfying amount of action on the lady-chauffeur romance front. She asks him why he promised Mr. Carson that he would not try any more statements of protest, in order to keep his job. Branson says he’s not leaving until she’s willing to run away with him. She’s in love with him, he says – she just won’t admit it. Adorable.

E: Did you think so?  I was actually annoyed by that.  I’m not feeling him this time, somehow.  It should have been romantic the way his original proposal was, but it just wasn’t.  Maybe I’m still bothered by his weirdness from last week.

C: I did think that part was cute, yeah, but it’s amazing how just a couple words can put a damper on romance. Sybil goes to see Branson again, this time at night in the garage, to tell him Lady Mary knows about what’s been going on (technically, not much) between them. He repeats his offer to run away, and she finally voices her concerns. What about my family, she asks? What about my work? “What work?” he scoffs. And suddenly I am 500 times less charmed by the idea of them together.

E: Well, yeah.  That’s unfortunately dismissive.  Generally, I found his whole “if you love me, you should be willing to throw over the rest of your life” attitude really irritating.

C: Sybil’s just finding a sense of purpose. And she actually likes her family, somehow even her sisters. I don’t think his “all or nothing” ultimatums are going to win her over. But if the bloom is a little bit off that rose, Mr. Fellowes certainly ramped up the adorable factor in another department. Could the concert scene have been any more wonderful? I’ll admit it: the three adult women watching at my house emitted a simultaneous squeal of joy.

E: The concert was definitely wonderful.  Mary has just learned that Matthew went out on patrol and never came back. She doesn’t want to do the concert, but Lord Grantham tells her the men need it – the show must go on. So there she is singing with Edith, struggling along, trying to care when she doesn’t, and then Matthew and William walk in and she just stops. And then he joins her!  Of course.

C: Of course? I was blown away! That was the perfect touch, the moment our smiles turned to squeals. “If you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy…” A fantasy from a time of horror. Spot on.

E: I mean “of course” because it was the perfect, perfect thing.  It was the best possible thing to happen at that moment.  Just as wonderful as Mrs. Patmore and Mrs. Bird feeding the jobless soldiers, and Cora joining them.  And, even better, forcing O’Brien to serve as well!  Those are some seriously lovely moments.

C: It might have been smarter to send O’Brien home – dang, that woman has resentment down to an art! – but I loved Cora’s immediate decision to join in. I can’t help feeling the cooks were a bit silly not to just ask permission in the first place. Lord and Lady Grantham aren’t exactly misers.

E: Mom disagrees with me, but for once, I actually thought it was reasonable of O’Brien to be suspicious. Of course, she thinks badly of people who don’t deserve it, and one feels she should have known Mrs. Patmore wasn’t selling the food, but I can see why it looked strange.

C: You know, that’s a fair point. They were obviously sneaking food. You don’t usually go that for an honest, above-board reason. (And as I noted, there really was no reason not to try doing it honestly.)

E: And ultimately, O’Brien’s snooping did good.  ‘From now on you must take the food from the household budget,’ Cora says.  Awesome.

C: If I have one big complaint about Julian Fellowes’s writing this season, it’s his dependence on dramatic irony, which has been used so liberally it’s become absurd. “I think they might ask me to stay!” says Molesley. “Get used to being happy!” Anna tells Bates. It doesn’t make me sympathetic with these people when they’re inevitably disappointed; it makes me want to smack them out of the habit of uttering famous last words.

E: So so true.

C: And Bates coming back before he’s got his business settled? Idiocy. If you don’t want to ask for help, then take care of your issues where they won’t rain down on the people you care about – that’s why you left to begin with.

E: The man really needs a good smack upside the head, doesn’t he?

C: Much as I have always rooted for him… yes he does.

E: I have to say, on a totally different subject, that I am utterly convinced of Mary’s love for Matthew.  In some ways I feel like we’re seeing a battle for her soul when she talks of joining forces with Richard, because her love for Matthew ennobles her. But I cannot see a way through for her to be with Matthew!  For that matter, I can’t tell that he still loves her, can you?  Are we meant to think that receipt of her letter announcing her sort of engagement makes him reckless?  Because he just seems blind to her – perfectly friendly and pleasant, but not pining at all.

C: Oh, I don’t see that at all. I think he definitely still loves her – but in a “put on hold” kind of way. What he’s blind to is the fact that she loves him, so he’s moved on to a new relationship. That’s his priority now, and Lavinia (as far as we know) loves him in return, so he’s just not going to dwell on the Mary issue. But he’s so not over her.

E: Don’t you think Lavinia loves him?  I do.  As for the least successful relationship of the night (even given the heavy competition for that status)… oh, Ethel.

C: Yeah, we all knew exactly what would happen there.

E: Am I crazy for thinking that they should have had someone reprimand Major Mustache?  Plus, how the hell long are these guys going to convalesce?  There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with the Major, does there?  So why is he still taking up space?

C: Well, just because we haven’t seen what’s wrong with him doesn’t mean he’s okay. But yeah, if he’s up to sneaking around the house and vigorously seducing the housemaids, it’s probably time to send him home.

E: Um, quite.  At first he was in a wheelchair, so that made sense – but he’s not anymore.

C: This really shows how having Thomas in charge poses a very serious problem. Mrs. Hughes approached this as a staff issue – as she would have if Ethel had slept with a regular guest of the Crawleys. But if they had a responsible person in charge of day-to-day administration on the military end, she could report the incident and that person would decide how to deal with Major ‘Stache. Unfortunately, Thomas is an uncooperative git.

E: Well, I can’t deny that, but I kept wondering why they didn’t report it to someone with military authority, like Dr. Clarkson.  Or even to Lord Grantham – don’t you imagine he’d have been furious that someone was repaying his hospitality in that way?

C: I imagine he would, though they are playing him more passively this season. I guess they can’t play the “Lord G. steps in” card for every problem, or where would the drama be? Which brings us to the ending: O’Brien trying to motivate Thomas to scheme some more against Bates. Seriously – have you ever met an average human who put that much energy into being evil?

E:  Hee.  George Eliot writes about that in Mill on the Floss in a way I just adore:

“Plotting covetousness and deliberate contrivance in order to compass a selfish end are nowhere abundant but in the world of the dramatist; they demand too intense a mental action for many of our fellow parishioners to be guilty of them.  It is easy enough to spoil the lives of our neighbors without taking so much trouble; we can do it by lazy acquiescence and lazy omission, by trivial falsities for which we hardly know a reason, by small frauds neutralized by small extravagancies, by maladroit flatteries and clumsily improvised insinuations. We live from hand to mouth, most of us, with a small family of immediate desires; we do little else than snatch a morsel to satisfy the hungry brood, rarely thinking of seed corn or the next year’s crop.”

C: But the planting of wicked seeds, it seems, is this dramatist’s bread and butter!

How’s that for a mixed metaphor to end on?

This morning’s nominations bring a happy number of surprises and more than a few nominations that weren’t so shocking.  And nine Best Picture nominees! Wow!

Let’s get to it.

Best Supporting Actor:

I said:  Kenneth Branagh, Albert Brooks, Jonah Hill, Nick Nolte, Christopher Plummer

They nominated: Kenneth Branagh, Jonah Hill, Nick Nolte, Christopher Plummer, Max Von Sydow

Okay, here it is.  I did just as well as Dave Karger (who picked Brooks instead of Nolte), but I will be damned if I can figure out how he knew it would be Von Sydow when he hadn’t be nominated for a single precursor award.  But there it is. He was right, and everyone else was wrong.  You saw my reasoning, and the long list of fellows who’d been nominated for other awards.  I”m not at all surprised to get one wrong; in fact, I’m rather pleased to have gotten 4 out of 5.  Brooks not getting the BAFTA nom, when they clearly loved his movie, turns out to have been a good sign of things to come. But.  I guess it’s the year for silence – Von Sydow plays a character who hasn’t spoken since the second World War.

Best Supporting Actress

I said: Berenice Bejo, Jessica Chastain, Janet McTeer, Octavia Spencer, Shailene Woodley

They Nominated: Berenice Bejo, Jessica Chastain, Melissa McCarthy, Janet McTeer, Octavia Spencer

4 out of 5 again.  As you recall, I said it would be some combination of McCarthy, McTeer and Woodley.  I picked the wrong one.  I knew picking Woodley was a bit of a risk, but her performance was so lovely, I decided to take a chance.  I’m really happy for the super likable McCarthy that she and close friend Spencer will get to go through the nomination whirlwind together.  Fun fact; 4 out of 5 women are first time nominees, with McTeer being the only repeat.

Best Actor:

I said: George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jean Dujardin, Michael Fassbender, Brad Pitt

They nominated: Demian Bichir, George Clooney, Jean Dujardin, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt

This turned out to be my worst category – 3 for 5.  Bichir and Oldman had made my alternate list, and I had identified DiCaprio and Fassbender as the weakest links on the presumed list, but wow.  Two non-native speakers on the list?  I don’t think that’s ever happened before (and like I said is definitely a sign that this was not a big year for lead male performances).  Oldman picks up his first nomination for playing John LeCarre’s famous spy; this movie was expected to get more buzz than it did.  Now it’s making up for that.  Looks like the SAG nomination for Mexican star Bichir and the BAFTA nod for Oldman really did indicate momentum.  I downplayed that since he and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy are both British and they often prefer their own, but apparently I shouldn’t have.  As far as I can tell, Bichir will be only the second Mexican born actor to be nominated, after four time nominee Anthony Quinn.

All of this, in case you were wondering, adds up to George Clooney being in an even better position to win that he was before.

Best Actress:

I said: Glenn Close, Viola Davis, Meryl Streep, Tilda Swinton, Michelle Williams

They nominated: Glenn Close, Viola Davis, Rooney Mara, Meryl Streep, Michelle Williams

4 out of 5.  Swinton was clearly the vulnerable one, and Mara was clearly the best alternative, but it’s still a little bit of a surprise.  I’m really pleased for Mara – and I’m more pleased for myself, because now I don’t have to see We Need to Talk About Kevin, which, frankly, I was not looking forward to.  So, yay?   The fight is still between Davis and Streep.  I am actually hearing a bit more chatter along the lines of “when the heck are they going to let Meryl win?” which is encouraging – but I’m going to try not to let myself get too invested there, because we know Meryl always loses these head to head battles.

Best Director

I said: Woody Allen, David Fincher, Michel Hazanavicius, Alexander Payne, Martin Scorsese

They nominated: Woody Allen, Michel Hazanavicius, Terence Malick, Alexander Payne, Martin Scorsese

4 out of 5 again. Well, I said the last slot was between Fincher, Malick, and Spielberg; I just picked the wrong horse.  I don’t feel badly about it; it really could have been any of them.  I should have said in the prediction post, but the exclusion of Tate Taylor, director of The Help, signals that The Help isn’t a top contender.   It’s virtually impossible for a film to win when it’s director hasn’t been nominated; it’s a clear sign that the film doesn’t have enough across the board support.  You have to go back to Driving Miss Daisy for an example of that even being possible.  Given that, you have to consider that the only films with even a scrap of a chance to beat frontrunner The Artist are The Descendants (perhaps weakened by Woodley’s snubbing) and nomination count winner Hugo.

Best Picture

I said: The Artist, The Descendants, The Help, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Moneyball, War Horse

They nominated: The Artist,The Descendants, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Help, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Moneyball, Tree of Life, War Horse

I got 7 out of 9, which is – I don’t know.  I didn’t get any wrong, but I didn’t pick enough, and I certainly wouldn’t have picked Extremely Loud – it barely made my long shot list.   Clearly the Academy liked the 9/11 family drama.  Tree of Life is less surprising.  And it’s already out on dvd for those who haven’t seen it (as are The Help, Midnight in Paris and Moneyball), so hurrah!  Everything else you can see in theaters.  Man, it really is an interesting list.

Other categories:

Not only did Steven Spielberg miss out on a director’s nom, he was denied the expected Animated Feature nod for The Adventures of Tintin.  Now that’s a big, big shock.  And the movies that took it’s place?  A Cat in Paris and Chico and Rita.  Huh?  (Actually, even though I’ve never heard of it, A Cat in Paris is such a wonderfully evocative title; I totally want to see it now, though heaven knows where its available!) Just not a great year for animated film, so the voters went pretty far afield to get nominees they were passionate about, it seems.

I was happy to see an Adapted Screenplay nomination for the married writing team behind Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, chiefly because the wife unexpectedly passed away; it’s a lovely tribute for her and consolation for her grieving husband.   Kristin Wiig did get her writing nod.  It’s nice to see a few women writers make the list. George Clooney had a pretty good morning (he just added a screenplay nod to his resume for Ides of March);Pitt and Davis both star in multiple Best Picture nominees.  The Iron Lady and Harry Potter both got make up nods; I’d never thought I’d be so excited about make up.

Now I know MMGF and I complained that there weren’t a lot of good songs this year, but seriously, only two nominees?  That’s pathetic.  Absolutely pathetic. Glenn Close will have to be content with her lead actress nomination; the song she co-wrote did not make that tiny list.  Good for Bret McKenzie, however; his “Man or Muppet” did make it.  The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was snubbed for its much lauded score.  Tintin did manage to sneak in a nomination here (if it can be considered sneaking when your composer is John Williams).

And that’s about it for now!  What are your thoughts?  Are there movies you’re excited about?  Snubs you can’t believe?  What’re you going to run out and see?  For a full list of nominations, go here.